My Immortal
by NoDa-chan
Summary: After being left alone from the one he loves, a character begins to fall downwards into his mind, stuck in the past, with no escape - Light shounen ai - Songfic to 'My Immortal'


MY IMMORTAL  
  
~*~  
  
A whisper, lost in the night, drowned out by the wind that rustled the trees. "Why...why did you go?" He shivered in the cold, and hugged himself. Once again, he was alone. "I always hated being alone..."  
  
/My immortal  
  
I'm so tired of being here  
  
Suppressed by all my childish fears/  
  
He still remembered. The feeling of warm breath on him, hands holding him steady...and soft lips covering his own. He remembered every inch of his former lover, every soft touch ever placed. Every touch, still ghosting over his skin, even though he had left Domino many years ago.  
  
/And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
Because your presence still lingers here/  
  
He stood up shakily from the park bench, and looked around. A faint hope that shone in his eyes quickly died down. It seemed almost as if he once again felt those icy eyes watching his every move.  
  
/And it won't leave me alone/  
  
A single tear rolled down his cheek. His breath caught, stuck in his throat, and his knees gave away. Dropping to the ground, his eyes burned, filled to the brim with unshed tears. Even though long, hard years had come and gone, it hurt. His heart filled with pain at the mere memory of him, and the ache never went away completely.  
  
/These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase/  
  
Breathing became harder as the tears spilled over. He wished that he would be pulled tight into embrace, as he had done before when his lover was hurt. Choking slightly, he gasped for air, sinking through memories accompanied by sorrow. Nightmares haunted his sleep; much alike to the ones he had comforted him from years and years ago. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw him. That face burned bright in his mind, and the feeling of being hand in hand lingered in his skin.  
  
/When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And i've held your hand through all of these years/  
  
Not a single letter from him graced his box, but he knew he could never forget. Even if he forgot about him, he would always be his. The others, his friends, had tried to cheer him up, get him smiling again, but it never worked. His heart, whole and through, was taken. It belonged to him, and always will.  
  
/But you still have all of me/  
  
He always loved him, always watching him almost as intently as he watched him. He was captured by the other, how he could be so calm and cool, never once breaking down. Always he seemed to shine, even as he glared harshly at life. He'd been trying to find something, anything, that might be his, however distant, but it never worked. Left with reminiscences, all he could get was a fragment of what seemed another life.  
  
/You used to captivate me  
  
By your resonating light  
  
But now i'm bound by the life you left behind/  
  
Eyes slipping closed, he didn't fall asleep. Not because he was in the park, but for fear of dreams. Nightmares, all of the past, came and haunted him, mixing with images of his face. He had stopped being himself after the dreams started, and he was slipping away, drowning in darkness of remembrance. However, never once did he try to step away from the path he was on, even if it cost him.  
  
/Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me/  
  
Though the tears had, just moments ago, seemed as though they would never end, they were now stopped. With their absence they left a dull hurt, a sting that would never truly fade. Even as more years would come, passing identical to the former ones, the ache would be there. As long as he remembered, it would remain. He would never forget, and the price was his inner torture.  
  
/These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase/  
  
He constantly thought of the past, times when they were happy. It seemed as though a paradise had come, taken over his life. Though he had never believed anything that perfect existed, he began to taste nirvana. Everything was wonderful, and then it all crashed down around him. Nothing was as it was, once he was gone. Once he left, disappearing without a word, leaving neither reason nor explanation, everything changed, became different. And it all hurt.  
  
/When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And i've held your hand through all of these years/  
  
That fateful day he began his downward spiral. Falling farther and farther away from his life, he found refuge in only one place: his own mind. In his mind, nothing was different; he had everything remain the same. Memories sought him out, and he reveled in them, finding a release. More and more dependent on the past, he became lost as time went by. His only life source was memories, but he didn't care. In recollections, he relived everything wonderful, and the pain was pushed to the back of his mind.  
  
/But you still have all of me/  
  
But occasionally he'd walk. Late at night, he'd find himself in the park. Staring up at the stars, a cool sensation spread through him. And on those nights, his head would clear. His heart would ache, but he would know the truth. He knew he was lost, too deep to be found, and only sinking more. He knew he was alone in his plight, that he had fallen away from all he had known, and there was nothing to do but accept.  
  
/I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
But though you're still with me/   
  
Even on those nights, he wondered. His mind searched for an answer, for he knew, that if he had a reason, he'd be free. Wings would come, save him, bring him back to reality. But to have an answer, he'd have to be with him. And that could happen never again. Thus left without his answer, but he would never hit the ground, because he held onto life, just to wonder.  
  
/I've been alone all along/  
  
"Why...why did you go?" his voice whispered, soft, drowned out by the wind that rustled the trees...  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
END  
  
~*~  
  
A/N- Yes, it was meant to be confusing, using only pronouns for both subjects. It created an interesting effect, I think. So, please, tell me what you think ^^ It's my first [semi] successful fanfiction, so I'm [kind of] proud of it. Nyaha, thanks for reading! If you review, you get a cookie XD  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! nor the song "My Immortal". How sad. 


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